Investigation in forming Friendships
Ullarka Ullam Sirukuva Kollarka / Allarkan Aatraruppaar Natpu
Classical English couplet — “Think not the thoughts that dwarf the soul; nor takeFor friends the men who friends in time of grief forsake”
What it says in plain words
“Avoid thoughts and actions that weaken your will to keep trying. Do not choose friends who leave when you face trouble.”
The classical Tamil reading
ஊக்கம் குறைவதற்குக் காரணமான செயல்களை எண்ணாமலிருக்க வேண்டும், அதுபோல் துன்பம் வந்த போது கைவிடுகின்றவரின் நட்பைக் கொள்ளாதிருக்க வேண்டும்.
An expanded Tamil interpretation
ஊக்கத்தைச் சிதைக்கக்கூடிய செயல்களையும், துன்பம் வரும்போது விலகிவிடக்கூடிய நண்பர்களையும் நினைத்துப் பார்ககாமலே இருந்து விட வேண்டும்
The ethical and philosophical heart
Some thoughts and actions make it harder to keep trying. Friends who leave during trouble can make that struggle worse. The couplet asks us to protect our strength to keep going. This means avoiding what weakens us and choosing friends who stay through hardship.
In personal life, work and society
- Personal
- After a setback, avoid telling yourself that trying again is pointless.
- Workplace
- Build friendships with coworkers who do not avoid you when problems arise.
- Family
- During a family illness, notice which friends keep calling and offering help.
- Society
- Build community ties with people who stay involved when neighbours face hardship.
How to apply this today
- Decision-making
- Avoid choices that weaken your will to keep trying.
- Integrity
- Be the friend who stays when someone faces trouble.
- Communication
- Avoid words that make someone feel there is no point trying.
- Leadership
- Support your team through setbacks instead of leaving them alone.
- Governance
- Keep public support available when people face hard times.
For leaders and teams
Give people steady support during hard times. Do not leave them alone when problems arise.
Something to sit with
“Which thoughts and friendships help you keep going when life gets hard?”