Evil Friendship
Seydhemanj Chaaraach Chiriyavar Punkenmai / Eydhalin Eydhaamai Nandru
Classical English couplet — “'Tis better not to gain than gain the friendship profitlessOf men of little minds, who succour fails when dangers press”
What it says in plain words
“Some friendships offer no real support when you face trouble. It is better to avoid these harmful friendships than begin them.”
The classical Tamil reading
காவல் செய்து வைத்தாலும் காவல் ஆகாத கீழ்மக்களின் தீய நட்பு, ஒருவனுக்கு ஏற்படுவதை விட ஏற்படாமலிருப்பதே நன்மையாகும்.
An expanded Tamil interpretation
கீழ்மக்களின் நட்பு, பாதுகாப்பாக அமையாத தீயதன்மை கொண்டது என்பதனால், அவர்களுடன் நட்பு ஏற்படுவதைவிட, ஏற்படாமல் இருப்பதே நலம்
The ethical and philosophical heart
Friendship should offer support, especially when life becomes hard. Some people do not help, even when trusted to do so. Their friendship leaves you without the support you counted on. The lesson is to choose friends you can count on, rather than accept a harmful friendship.
In personal life, work and society
- Personal
- You avoid growing close to someone who repeatedly leaves you alone in trouble.
- Workplace
- You avoid relying on a coworker who abandons agreed tasks when problems arise.
- Family
- You help your child step back from a friend who leaves them in unsafe situations.
- Society
- A community avoids partnering with a group that repeatedly fails to provide promised emergency help.
How to apply this today
- Decision-making
- Before deepening a friendship, notice whether the person helps when things go wrong.
- Integrity
- Give the support you have agreed to provide when someone faces trouble.
- Communication
- Speak clearly when someone repeatedly fails to give the help you agreed on.
- Leadership
- Choose helpers who stay dependable when your team faces difficulties.
- Governance
- Choose public service partners who provide the protection people count on.
For leaders and teams
Build your team around people who stand by others in trouble. Avoid depending on those who repeatedly fail to provide agreed support.
Something to sit with
“What do your friends' actions during hard times tell you about whom to trust?”